I feel a little bit like a boxer who has been fighting for months and finally hears the bell signaling a break.
I’m battered and bruised and sitting in my corner just wondering when the next round is going to begin.
For me, 2020 has felt like the never-ending fight. On March 13th our schools closed and I knew the world was changing. From that moment forward we were in a constant state of response. Filling out business loan forms, learning new regulations, back and forth communication with my mother-in-law’s care facility to find out if we could visit, trying to figure out virtual school and the million new links and passwords involved with that, pivoting our in person fitness festival and making sure Jessica Valant Pilates was set up to help all of you to our best ability.
It was constant and my brain never shut off. I felt that constant stress that comes from always having something to do or something to think about or something new to figure out.
It takes a toll.
Stress can be physical and mental. It can be good stress like leading up to your wedding or something exciting. Or it can be bad stress like wondering where your next paycheck is coming from. Either way, stress and the constant fight or flight feeling is damaging to our bodies and our health.
I’m ready for a rest.
I know things won’t change automatically when the clock strikes midnight for the new year to start. I know the same problems will be here and the same stressors.
But I’m personally committed to letting my mind find some much needed stillness in the midst of it.
I want to take some control back. I want to not be so reactive. I want to take moments to sit and watch my kids read or put my phone down or leave the new alone.
My body will always crave movement and it helps me process stress, but my mind needs stillness.
My hope for the coming year is that I can find some of that stillness even in the midst of the unknown.
I wish the same for you.