What story is on repeat in your head?
I’m too short.
I’m too tall.
I’m not athletic enough.
I can’t wear those pants.
I am not a runner.
I’m not strong.
I would look silly doing that.
I’m not important.
It doesn’t matter to me.
I grew up a tomboy. I had short hair and a flat chest and strangers literally confused me for a boy on a number of occasions. I played soccer and never took dance or ballet lessons.
When I tried out for our high school musical, I got the part that involved singing and no dancing. My character literally broke her leg during the show, meaning I couldn’t dance even if I wanted to.
I longed to feel “girlie”, but I could never quite relate to the girls I knew who had the perfect make-up, the perfect hair and the perfect outfit.
When I looked in the mirror I saw short and stocky. I saw capable. I saw “ok”.
I never saw beautiful, empowered, strong or graceful.
This is the story I told myself for the next ten years.
I didn’t realize how much I was holding myself back simply because of the words I had on repeat in my head.
When I started doing Pilates, I did it for my career at first. I quickly fell in love with it as an exercise for myself, but I continued to do it simply for health and strength.
Then something amazing happened.
The words in my head started getting a little quieter, and I stopped holding myself back simply because I felt “stocky”.
I took dance classes even though I felt awkward. I started yoga even though I had no idea what I was doing. I tried every new exercise I could on the Pilates equipment even though I couldn’t hold a plank when I started.
I’m older and have more wrinkles than I did. I have had a baby and have loose skin. I’m even more flat chested than I was as a teenager.
Yet I feel more graceful and feminine than I ever have.
Just because I refused to hold myself back anymore.
What stories are you telling yourself every day? What do you hold yourself back from doing because you don’t think you should/can? What workouts do you skip because the words in your head are louder than those in your heart?
My workouts changed the moment I stopped holding myself back. They became more effective as I started believing I could do them. More importantly, they became more fun.
Negative Nancy had left the building and I was free to enjoy myself again.
I challenge you this month to turn off the stories that you have on repeat. Silence the negative words and assumptions you’ve made about yourself.
Try something that scares you. Do something new. Or do something you’ve always done, but this time, believe in yourself when you do it.
Change your own story.
