I saw a well intentioned post the other day telling me I should take a long bath with nice smelling candles to relax during these hard times.

I kind of wanted to throw my phone.

I would love to take a hot bath and smell candles for an hour. But honestly the idea of it makes me feel nothing but anxiety and then guilt right now. Anxiety because the list of things to do and people who need something is a mile long right now and if there was an alternate universe where I had an hour alone I would probably be editing videos or folding laundry. Guilt because I know I probably need “self-care” so I think of it as one more thing on my list or one more thing I’m just not getting right. 

I do wholeheartedly and unabashedly believe in taking care of yourself. 

I just feel it’s an entirely different concept than the 20th century idea of manicures and pedicures as “self-care”.

I feel myself riding a fine line right now of what I can sustain and still be a good mom, business owner, PT, wife and person. There are days I feel I’m barely hanging on. I HAVE TO have strategies for taking care of myself so I can keep on keeping on.

Right now these include 6 1/2 hours of sleep. A shower every single morning. Daily movement. A ten minute alone time break I get at 1:30 every day where I sit in the sun without my phone. Hugs from my family.

In an ideal world I would be doing more to take care of myself, but we aren’t quite close to ideal right now. We are surviving. We are finding joy in the midst of chaos. We are crying as needed and downing coffee by the mugful and laughing when potty training goes awry.

Don’t feel bad if your “self-care” game is struggling right now. Taking care of yourself is hard dirty work. But remember you do need to take care of yourself. Maybe it’s flowers and candles or maybe it’s alone time in your closet and a single deep cleansing breath before diving back into the deep unknown. 

Take care of yourself so you have the reserves to take care of everything else 💜.